Your Boss Is Not Responsible for Your Career

Episode transcript

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You're listening to How Work Really Works with Steve, practical advice to help you communicate better, lead with confidence, and advance your career. Welcome to How Work Really Works with Steve, the podcast about the things nobody explains when you first enter the workplace. Usually because the people who should be explaining them are also trying to work them out. Today we are talking about your career, and specifically the person responsible for it. Here is a clue. It is probably not the person whose name appears above yours on the organization chart. Your boss can support your career. A good boss should support your career. They can coach you, recommend you, give you opportunities, and occasionally prevent you from making a decision that seemed brilliant at 11 o'clock on a Friday evening. But your boss is not responsible for your career. You are. I learned this later than I should have. For much of my career, I believed in a fairly simple equation. Do good work, go above and beyond, deliver what you promise, be dependable. Maintain a strong ratio between saying, I can do that, and actually doing it. Eventually, somebody would notice, gently tap me on the shoulder and say, Steve, your quiet competence has been observed. Please accept this magnificent new role and an appropriately magnificent salary. It is a lovely theory, almost comforting. It is also not how most organizations work. Doing good work matters enormously, but good work does not automatically communicate ambition. Your manager may see a reliable, capable person who is perfectly happy in the current role. Meanwhile, you are waiting for a promotion that you have never clearly said you want. Managers are not career clairvoyants. They cannot read the private plan in your head, especially if that plan has never made it into an actual conversation. You may think your commitment makes your intentions obvious. It does not. Commitment might mean you want advancement. It might mean you enjoy the work. It might mean you have high professional standards, or it might mean you do not know how to say no. If you want something, you have to articulate it. That does not mean marching into your manager's office and announcing that you expect to be promoted by Thursday. It means having an adult conversation about where you want to go, what you need to learn, and what evidence would demonstrate that you are ready. Your boss can help you travel, but you still have to choose the destination. Now, saying your boss is not responsible for your career does not mean managers get to wash their hands of employee development. I have worked for several senior leaders and quite a few chief executives. Some were in the role briefly, others were there long enough for me to learn a great deal from them. One leader in particular pushed me beyond my normal comfort zone more than anybody else. It was not always delivered as direct career advice. He did not sit me down with a beautifully laminated development plan. It was often the actions he took, the responsibilities he gave me, and the situations he expected me to handle. That support helped me grow, and I remain very grateful for it. Good managers create opportunities for people to demonstrate what they can do. They offer stretch assignments, they provide mentoring, they arrange secondments, they invite someone into a meeting where that person can learn, contribute, and become visible to a broader group. They also provide honest feedback, including the kind nobody particularly enjoys hearing. If an employee told me what they wanted from their career, I tried to be respectful and direct. If the goal was realistic, I would look for ways to help. If they needed broader experience, stronger communication, or more responsibility, I would tell them. If the aspiration was not currently realistic, I would explain why. Sometimes the employee was ready, but the organization simply could not offer what they wanted. In those situations, the honest answer might be that their best opportunity existed somewhere else. That is not an easy conversation for a manager. You may be helping a talented person leave your team. But good leadership is not measured by how successfully you prevent people from escaping. Your team is not a collection of decorative hostages. There were occasions when I felt genuinely proud that somebody had grown beyond what the company could offer. I did not necessarily want them to leave, but I could still support the decision. That is the manager's side of the bargain. Help people understand what is possible. Give them useful feedback. Create opportunities where you can, be honest where you cannot. The employees' side is equally important. You need to bring evidence of your growth, capability, commitment, and readiness. You cannot simply ask for advancement because enough birthdays have passed. Somebody beside you was promoted, or you have occupied the same chair for three years. Promotion is not an attendance award. Career development works best as a partnership. Your manager provides support and access. You provide direction, effort, and ownership. Not every manager handles this partnership well. I have had managers make promises that were designed more to appease me than to create a real path forward. Sometimes the manager lacked the influence or courage to make the case. Sometimes they were uncomfortable delivering an honest answer. And sometimes a manager felt threatened by the idea that somebody below them might grow into a genuine challenger. So the conversation becomes vague. We are looking at it. You are definitely on the radar. Let us revisit this after the next planning cycle. Corporate radar is an extraordinary place. People can apparently remain on it for years without ever appearing on a screen. Words matter, but actions matter more. If your manager says they support your development, look for evidence. Has a development plan been agreed? Have you been given exposure to broader work? Has anyone explained what readiness looks like? Is there a timeline? Has your manager advocated for you with the people who actually make the decision? If nothing changes, you may not have a plan. You may have a calming phrase. I also stayed in one organization for more than 20 years. I was loyal to the company, loyal to the people, and genuinely enjoyed much of the work. It was not a hardship. But from a career progression perspective, I may have been too loyal for too long. Loyalty can be admirable. It can also become a comfortable reason not to make a difficult decision. The longer you stay, the easier it is for an organization to assume that you will continue staying. You become dependable, familiar, and safe. Nobody feels urgency because nobody believes you are going anywhere. That does not mean you should threaten to resign every six months. Nobody enjoys managing somebody who approaches each development conversation like a hostage negotiation. It does mean you should examine whether your loyalty is being reciprocated with opportunity, recognition, and honest communication. One of the biggest opportunities in my career arrived unexpectedly. I was offered an international assignment in Dubai. It was not something I had requested, but I said yes almost immediately. I was young, single, and able to move. That decision changed the direction of my career. Sometimes opportunity arrives without warning. When it does, you need the confidence to recognize it and act. But you cannot build an entire career by standing beside the phone hoping Dubai eventually calls. You also have to create opportunity. Volunteer for work that expands your experience. Put your nose through the door occasionally. Take some burden from your manager. Get involved beyond your normal discipline. Demonstrate that you can operate at a broader level. Do not wait passively for permission to become more capable. So, what can you do during the next 90 days to take greater ownership of your career? First, decide what you actually want. Not simply something more. What kind of work do you want to do? Do you want to manage people, deepen your technical expertise, influence strategy, lead larger programs, or move into another part of the business? You do not need a perfect 10-year plan. Very few careers follow one anyway. But you do need enough direction to recognize which opportunities move you forward and which ones merely make you busier. Second, schedule a proper career conversation with your manager. Do not ambush them in a corridor or add it during the final 90 seconds of another meeting. Put time aside specifically for it. Depending on the relationship, it might be a formal discussion or a relaxed conversation over lunch. Explain what you are interested in and ask direct questions. What capabilities do I need to develop? What would demonstrate readiness for the next level? Which assignments would give me the right experience? Who else should understand the work I am doing? And please do not wait for the annual review. I have never liked the idea that career development should be discussed once a year, usually after everybody has spent three weeks trying to remember what happened during the previous 11 months. Create quarterly career touch points. Review what has changed, what you have learned, and what needs to happen next. Third, find a mentor outside your immediate department. Choose somebody who understands your work but is not directly responsible for evaluating you. They can often give you more objective advice because they are not trying to fill your current role, protect their own structure, or navigate the politics inside your team. A good mentor can tell you whether your ambition is realistic, whether you are overlooking a weakness, and whether the organization sees you the way you see yourself. That final question can be uncomfortable. It can also be extremely useful. Fourth, create visible evidence that you are ready. Take on an assignment slightly beyond your current responsibilities. Help solve a problem across departments. Present to a broader audience, mentor somebody else. Improve something that matters to the business. Do not just collect additional tasks. More work is not automatically career development. Choose work that demonstrates judgment, breadth, influence, and the ability to operate at the level you want next. Finally, establish your own timeline. How long are you willing to wait for meaningful progress? What evidence would convince you that the organization is serious? At what point would you consider a lateral move or an opportunity elsewhere? You do not need to issue an ultimatum. This timeline is primarily for you. It prevents sometime soon from quietly turning into another three years. Your boss may become one of the most important supporters of your career. They may challenge you, advocate for you, and open doors you did not know existed. Be grateful when that happens. I certainly am. But do not outsource your future to them. Be open to opportunity when it appears, just as I was when that unexpected international assignment arrived. But also create opportunity. Ask for the conversation. Seek the experience. Find the mentor. Make your ambitions clear. Your manager can help open the door, but you still have to put your nose through it. Preferably before it closes on your face. This has been how work really works with Steve. If this episode made you think of somebody who is waiting patiently to be discovered, send it to them. It may be the career conversation they have been postponing. Until next time, keep doing good work. Just make sure somebody knows where you want that work to take you.